Think of a student whose behaviour is especially challenging. You can probably picture that one child who demands your extra attention and time for not so good reasons.
Now, this week - try to find one positive thing to report about that child. Maybe you have to look really hard, but notice an achievement or something genuinely good. Then, tell their parents/ grandparents/ carers!
Maybe you already do this, but it took me a couple of years as a teacher before I started this practice. Whilst I was always very mindful of providing genuine praise to my pupils, the real change began when I started communicating this praise to parents. Now, I’m always on the lookout for a positive comment (especially for the more ‘challenging’ children). Then, each week for one child, I make a phone call, send a note home or catch their parent after-school.
For example:
‘Instead of getting upset when he was tagged out during PE, Yousef stayed calm today.’
‘Tatiana sat for the entire lunch without any adult support for the first time this week.’
This small action of communicating the positive transformed my teaching practice and my classroom management.
This is what happened:
1. I became an ally to parents.
Giving a little piece of positive news improved my relationships with parents, especially with parents who were most resistant at first. (Especially if you work in a mainstream school, those parents are the ones who have likely experienced many negative interactions and comments about their child’s behaviour in the past.) Research shows that our attitude is reflected in those we interact with – if we confront a parent with a negative attitude, they will likely respond negatively. But also, vice versa! You can see a parent’s attitude soften as soon as you speak a kind and true word about their child.
By the end of the year, almost every parent was more willing to speak with me about both good and bad things.
2. My own attitude began to change.
This was somewhat unexpected, but my attitude towards the ‘toughest’ children in my class became much more positive. Whilst I still spent a lot of time managing their behaviour plans and discussing their challenges with other professionals, I began to notice the real progress that was happening. I was much more confident to speak up about their achievements and milestones over their difficulties (and positivity is the most useful tool in difficult parent-teacher meetings).
3. The overall attitude in my class improved.
Asking Teaching Assistants to report back with a positive comment was also a real game-changer for my classroom management. It really shifted the tone and quality of interactions in my class when other adults could also speak praise for even the most demanding students.
Once a parent is ‘on your side,’ then their child usually follows too. And, if you can get the most challenging children on your side, then engagement and learning improves. Challenge yourself to find one positive thing this week, especially about the students who make it most tough.
(The book Phoning Parents by Mike Goldstein is a useful read about building relationships with parents, beyond just talking about the positive. Here is a free excerpt from the book with a few tips about parent-teacher communication.) http://coachingconnection.weebly.com/uploads/2/6/0/5/26050182/phoningparents.rookieteachclass.pdf
Ashleigh Johnson is a specialist SEND teacher who has experience of both working in special schools and as an outreach teacher in mainstream schools. Currently living and working in the USA, Ashleigh still has time to share her wealth of experience with us here back in London.
@davisan09
@davisan09
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